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  • Monica DuBois

2. I was afraid

Updated: Nov 17, 2022



He knew God’s voice. He had always responded to it quickly and with enthusiasm. Except now he hesitated. God had never asked where he was before. God always called out, and Adam responded immediately. But this time...


“Where are you?”


It gave Adam pause. Eve had just encountered the serpent which caused her to doubt God and desire to be like Him. She ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. He also took a bite of the forbidden fruit at his wife's urging. He felt different afterward. He experienced panic. He realized he was naked and became ashamed! Eve also showed signs of the same panic. They scattered and searched for something to cover their nakedness. Adam found some large fig leaves, so Eve copied him. They made aprons to shroud their shame.


It was pitiful. And God saw it all. Since God is love, He came quietly and asked, “Where are you?” to Adam. God knew they were panicking. He knew where they were, but He wanted Adam to identify “where” he was. He had to answer God. They had open conversations in the past. God was kind and loving. Adam knew nothing else. Up until this point Adam had no fears, worries, or anxieties. Remember, he was “born” a full-sized man. He truly was innocent in every way. He did not have the upbringing you or I have had. He did not have a family where emotions are displayed and copied by the children in it. He never experienced panic, pain, anger, sadness, comparison, blame, criticism, inferiority, self-consciousness, insecurity, etc. The tree of the Knowledge of good and evil had opened up all these emotions for him. And he was very afraid.


This is the first question recorded in history. Genesis 3:9 “Where art thou?” It is a good question. God wanted Adam to think about it. Adam was hiding. He had never done this before. Adam thought about it and came out a little closer to God’s voice, and said,

“I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked: and I hid myself.”

This is almost a perfect response to God’s question. Adam, until Eve came into the picture, had only heard God’s voice. There was no one else to talk to. He and God were companions and had worked together to name the animals. God told Adam how to care for the garden. They had a history together. Still, it is interesting that Adam would say, “I heard your voice…” Yet at this point, Adam had heard Eve’s voice and now the serpent’s voice as well. But he was most familiar with God's voice.


Adam rightly admits he was afraid but does not admit that he had done the forbidden thing. His reason for being afraid, he states, “...because I was naked…” A fact he had never been aware of before. And then he hid. Which was something he had never had to do either. Adam’s response to his folly was to hide.

Call it what you like, folly, foolishness, sin, or failure; our reaction is usually to run away. We hide. Whether it is in person, or within our person, we hide. Hiding can be emotional, by stuffing our emotions down deep, disregarding them, tossing them off like a piece of rubbish, acting like it never happened, or hiding behind a lie (which we know has to keep propagating into more lies to cover the first one.) This was made possible for us only by the knowledge of good and evil. This tendency is the portion that Adam had not been aware of before the Fall.


As a parent, you might want to ask the “Why?” question of your children when you catch them doing something wrong. You might try to figure out “why” they did that thing. But you force them to have their back against the wall. They might feel attacked and get defensive. Then they lash out or internalize their defensiveness. Fight or flight.


God, in His infinite wisdom, does not do this. God knew that Adam could not answer that question. Adam had never been attacked or had to defend himself. God asked a question that Adam could answer. Also, one that shows “where” Adam was:

“Afraid!”


The “why” inquiry would not work here. Nor does it work with children. They really do not know why they do things. So to find out where they are is especially important. It is so important, that this is where most counselors start. They desire to know “WHERE” the patient is (maybe: afraid), so they can help them go to the place they really want to be, but do not know how to get there on their own.


If you had to follow a map, you would have to find out where you are first. The GPS works that way too. It finds where you are and then tracks the best route to where you want to be.


The question now is yours. “Where are you?”


Ask yourself, “Where are you, _(your name)____?”


Ask God to help you with this. He is Love. He will be gentle and give you the grace to find your answers. He will help you get to where you need to be.


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3 comentarios


Monica DuBois
17 sept 2020

Thanks Ann, so nice to hear from you. I've read some of your memoirs. I really like your style, and you always bring it back to the Lord. So nice to have a sister in Christ to comment on this post!

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havecourageandbekind3
31 ago 2020

he probably had to fertilize the soil. that’s the only thing i can think of.

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Ann Averill
Ann Averill
29 ago 2020

Hi Monica, your mom sent me to your site. I love this piece about Adam and the wisdom it offers about parenting. As a grandmother, I see the truth of your perspective that I didn't understand as a young mom. As a fellow writer with a blog, I appreciate the quality of your piece. Keep it up sister. Your thoughts are worth reading. If you're interested, you can find me @anncaverill.com.

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